I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
