he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
