So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
