shes about as inviting as chlamydia
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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