She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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