Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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