Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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