Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
