I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
