just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
