dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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