Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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