We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
