a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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