He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
