Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
