She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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