I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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