i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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