I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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