My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
