At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
We had to coat check the pizza.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
