So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
