the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
