She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
