I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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