Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
