my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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