I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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