you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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