Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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