Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
