Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
