When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize