Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
