I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
