please come you make the beer taste better
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
