she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
