they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
