i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
