Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
