Where is the hickey?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize