There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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