all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Randomize
