my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
