Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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