this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
