You're so nebulous sometimes
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Well I just put wine in my tea
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
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