she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
