i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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