it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
