We're like a lot better than the average bears
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
as a side note pls kill me
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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