Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
