shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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