i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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