This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
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